Stinkbug Song Hit!

Last night, Iris Hirsch debuted her new hit song “Stinkbug Wars,” inspired by this very blog and written with some small assistance from yours truly. Here are the lyrics:

Stinkbug Wars

They’re lurking in the corner
Flying fearless in the night
A single silent soldier
Or an army poised to fight

No enemy can stop them
Their vast numbers conquer all
Wearing shields of odor
That will lead to our downfall

CHORUS
Stinkbugs, stinkbugs
An alien army invades
Stinkbugs, stinkbugs
Laughing in the face of Raid
Of all of China’s treasures
Why did these reach our shores?
We need to find a weapon
That can stop these Stinkbug Wars

Sleeping in the winter
Attacking in the spring
Buzzing fiercely with delight
At the anguish that they bring

They want light and they want warmth
Taking over is their goal
Can nothing stop the march
Of their noxious little souls?

CHORUS
Stinkbugs, stinkbugs
An alien army invades
Stinkbugs, stinkbugs
Laughing in the face of Raid
Of all of China’s treasures
Why did these reach our shores?
We need to find a weapon
To stop these Stinkbug Wars

No poisons, potions, pistols
No Birds, no bugs, no beasts
Can rid us of these putrid pests
Are we heading for defeat?

Our homes become their playgrounds
Our garden’s a tasty treat
When we squash them they smell like
Rotten eggs and dirty feet

Flush them down the toilet
Whack them with a bat
Vacuum, Taser, torture them
A good stinkbug is flat!

Copyright May 2011, ©Iris Ann Hirsch and Lydia Whitney

Dead Stinkbug Soldiers

This morning the fruit of recent spraying sorties was finally reaped; dead soldiers littered the windowsills and floor. The enemy has, however re-ammassed in daunting numbers despite their losses. Luckily, reinforcements have arrived… with heavy artillery. A Shop-Vac sortie against the dreaded Stink Bug Horde was launched and completed successfully. Now to wait…

Dead stinkbug bodies killed by spraying poison.

Dead Stinkbug Warriors Litter the Field

Copyright ©2011 Lydia Whitney

Stinkbug Products Rock!

I am so excited! I just got a goody box from Daniel Murphy at www.StinkyBug.com filled with cool stink-bug products.

Stinkbug humor adorns notepads and coasters.

Clearly, these products show the humorous side of the war against Stinkbugs!

I’ve also launched the latest weapons against stinkbugs from Strube’s Stinkbug Traps.

Latest Tabletop Stinkbug Trap Kills!

And, I am finally trying out my Dead Inn Stinkbug Trap. So far, it hasn’t caught many, but I’m patient…

Dead Inn Stinkbug Trap Deployed on Deck

Dead Inn Stink Bug Trap Deployed on Deck

Front Line, Stink Bug Wars

The ongoing siege has demoralized the troops, and even the fearless feline footsoldiers will no longer engage the enemy. After trying to ignore their screen-coating tactics, slithering entry into all rooms and occasional dive-bombing, I was finally forced to fortify myself with vino last night and engage in a hunt and capture mission. My hands still stink, despite the protective tissue I used…

Unfortunately, my efforts will be for naught unless I resort yet again to chemical warfare. Time to don plastic gloves for Stage II of the counter attack…

Wish me luck, my fellow stinkbug warriors!

Copyright ©2011 Lydia Whitney

Stinkbug Trail of Destruction

I recently noticed myriad brown drops around my home. They were on the floor, on furniture, even on the wall. I knew immediately that they HAD to come from the enemy. Who else would defile my home? My first thought was that the glue from the Tower of Death was dripping from them, as it had all slipped down to pool at the bottom of the trap.(NOTE: I just deployed the newest version of Strube’s Stinkbug Traps and it seems to be far better designed! I’ll report back on it’s success.)

So, I cleaned up the annoying spots. Luckily, a solution of Murphy’s Oil Soap and a little elbow grease were a successful combination. I also threw out the trap, as it seemed to have outlived it’s usefulness. I thought the issue was resolved. Another small victory for me in my ongoing war against the enemy stinkbug…

But no. Now I see more brown spots appearing throughout my home. Time for research. And there was very little to be found. Nothing from the experts, but from others who are on the frontlines of this battle against the stinkbug fiends, I found similar reports:

“It is important to remove the brown “trail” left behind from the Stink Bug. This “trail” is what attracts other Stink Bugs into your home. Look carefully as it looks like a small, brown, drop of blood, or a brown “drip” running down your wall or window/door frame.” Aha!

So, the evil enemy has yet another way to torment me. Big surprise. Their malevolence is boundless… DEATH TO STINKBUGS!!
Stinkbug Trail of Brown Liquid Drops

Copyright ©2011 Lydia Whitney

Stinkbugs Bite!

As I sat at my computer working, I felt a sharp pain on my bare foot. I reached down and found a stinkbug. Biting me. But wait, haven’t I been reading article after article in which the “experts” assure us that these atrocious creatures don’t bite? I was confused. And irritated. So, I decided to do some research. After all, it’s what I do. You see, I happen to be an expert myself. I was an English teacher for 18 years, and I now live in a home fully infested with stinkbugs. They DO bite. And it hurts.

According to the Mirriam Webster Dictionary, bite means

1a: to seize, especially with teeth or jaws so as to enter, grip or wound; 1b: to wound pierce or sting especially with a fang or proboscis; 2: to cut or pierce with or as if with an edged weapon; 3: to cause sharp pain or stinging discomfort to

According to the experts “the brown marmorated stinkbug feeds by sucking on plant juices with its beak, which is made with straw-like mouthparts. Its damage can range from mild to severe;” “BMSBs feed on host plants by piercing the skin and consuming the juices within; the signs of stink bug feeding appear as “necrotic” or dead spots on the surface;” “Stink bugs feed on plant tissue by piercing the cells and sucking out the contents;” “the brown marmorated stink bug is a sucking insect that uses its proboscis to pierce the host plant in order to feed.”

Seriously?! But they can’t bite? What exactly do these experts consider it when these alien invaders use their mouth to attempt feeding on us?!

News flash, experts: Brown marmorated stinkbugs definitely BITE!

Pun intended.

Copyright © 2011 Lydia Whitney

Stinkbugs in the RV – NASCAR Invaded?

Even the mobile housing unit has been infiltrated by this insidious intruder. We left town, hoping to have a single weekend free of this pernicious pest, and found that even in Delaware, the enemy was able to find us and invade. And there seemed to be numerous technical difficulties for the NASCAR racers as well – perhaps the stinkbugs are testing out a gremlin-style attack? Is there no escape?!

Copyright © 2011 Lydia Whitney

Dead Stinkbug Landmines

After taking a much-needed leave for Mother’s Day, we returned to find dead stinkbug corpses littering the field. Our secondary defenses had kicked in, and the enemy soldiers who had attempted to infiltrate the fortress while we were away found themselves either dying an agonizing death from the poison perimeter they had crossed or succumbing slowly while stuck to the enticing Tower of Death. Our first impulse was to celebrate a joyous victory.

However, we soon realized that even dead, these vicious stinkbug intruders managed to pose a threat. They had positioned themselves with their dying breaths in a random pattern that spread throughout the building, requiring us to step cautiously as we entered in order to avoid inadvertently triggering a dead stinkbug bomb of poisonous odor which could quickly envelop the unwary walker.

Is there no end to their evil?

Copyright © 2011 Lydia Whitney

Stinkbug Death Toll

The death toll continues to rise. The poison may not be immediately deadly to these formidable invaders, but eventually it works its magic on the dreaded enemy soldiers. The demons also continue to find themselves snared by the Tower of Death. It is heartening to find dead and dying stinkbug carcasses each morning during the dawn patrol.

If only they didn’t have so many reinforcements that follow in the endless onslaught…

The Amazing Tower of Death!

Strube's Stinkbugs Tower of Death Stinkbug Trap

©Copyright 2011 Lydia Whitney

Death to Stinkbugs!

Today’s battle lasted for hours. Even with heavy machinery, it was necessary to make pass after pass as hundreds – perhaps thousands – of dead, dying, and still fighting enemy combatants were sucked into their final resting place. May they rot forever!

Dead Stinkbugs Killed by Bifenthrin

Dead Enemy Soldiers

Copyright © 2011
Lydia Whitney

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